escape.

Why do we always want something more? Why do we get tired of the "good" things and seek a change of routine?

What causes this type of emotion? Are we designed to always want something new? I know.. A lot of questions, but I can't be the only one feeling this, right? I've learned that our most genuine emotions are the hardest to admit. I've learned that the more you bottle up how you truly feel you start to become exactly how everyone wants you to be rather than the person you actually are. Meditation is an escape, but only a temporary one. Unfortunately, it's similar to drinking alcohol or getting high; you put yourself in a free state of mind for just a moment, to feel authentic for a moment, to be honest with yourself for just a moment, but where's the element of lasting escape? We're always changing, even when we don't want to be. One moment that may feel like cloud 9 today may feel like the exact moment that's trapping us next year. One healthy connection today may be the connection keeping us from becoming who we truly want to become next year. So where's the transition? How do we move swiftly and constantly in order to continue becoming the person we know we ought to be?

We deliberately trap ourselves to please other people. We overwhelm ourselves with tasks that we can't handle at work in order to be seen as the "dependable person", we compromise (hate this word) our goals and our dreams to satisfy a collective relationship, we don't tell our closest connections about certain things that we do out of fear for losing their approval, and we care more for other people than we do for ourselves. When will we stop doing this? When will we just.. stop? Stop to think about where we're at, stop to think about who we are, stop to think about why we're doing what we're doing? We move at such a fast pace, even when we're not doing something we're always doing something. We're always caught up in the battle of doing too much or not doing enough.

So, is there an escape from this? (a real one)

I'm not sure.. I'm sorry if that comes across a bit anticlimactic but like you, I'm figuring this all out one day at a time. Maybe that's the exact thing we all need; we can't speed up time or slow it down regardless of what circumstance we're in. We can't make today end because we don't want to do something and we can't make it last longer because we're enjoying the moment. However, we can be conscious of the emotions we want to feel. We can remind ourselves physically on our phones, a note pad, on our laptops, on our fridge, wherever it is, we can simply write "enjoy today" because today is all we have. We can't bring back the moments that we cherished most and we can't determine what will happen tomorrow. This is ALLLLLL we have. This moment, the moment that you're in right now, enjoy this very moment, don't miss the chance to say something or do something because of the thought that you'll be able to do it tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. Say what you want to say, express what you're scared to express, and do exactly what you want to do. Don't wait, don't push it out, don't make an extensive plan. Life changes quicker than we can plan for it. Maybe this moment is the real escape.. the moment we focus on the least, the one we think will last forever, the one that we all take for granted.

Maybe today is the real escape.

sc.