status.

What makes a relationship? Think about that for a second. When you first meet someone that you're interested in, intrigued by, there's a spark, something that motivates you to be your best self, to impress that person but not to overdo it. The spark doesn't define the relationship though, it never has and it never will, the spark is merely a piece, often referred to as the "honeymoon" phase in a relationship. The spark is an introduction, connection is the foundation.

Think back to the most recent relationship you've had. I've had two serious relationships in my life, one lasting about 3 years and the other just over 11 months. What changes?What is it that changes the spark, that ruins the excitement, that blinds the affection after a certain amount of time? If I were asked this question 30 years ago, I'd have a completely different opinion. We live in a day and age that is engulfed with social media; likes, shares, followers, posts, trends, or in other words, status. No one could ever pinpoint the reasoning of someone falling out of love, or losing the spark, or losing connection, because we all feel in our own ways. I do believe however, that there's an overseeing cause that leaves us self-conscious, scared, nervous, jealous, judgmental, reserved, etc... and that cause is status. If we never saw how other people lived their lives through social media, no snapchat, no instagram, no twitter, no facebook, would we feel differently about ourselves? Would we feel differently about our confidence? How would we view those we see in person? It'd be a completely different world, a different you.

If a relationship is built on a foundation of connection with one another, how can we keep it that way? How can we build on that connection rather than on differences, irritations, judgement, pet peeves, etc?

Take a step back.

As I was going through a validation period with my most recent relationship someone told me something that I found very interesting. Right now, before deciding on marriage, a stable career, a solid direction in life, right now is the time to be selfish, to make decisions for you and not for other people. When you're in a relationship, dating or married, there's a balance that is necessary, but when you're single there is no better time for self-evaluation, reflection, a search for purpose, determining who you really are rather than who the world sees you to be.

"Some steps need to be taken alone. It's the only way to figure out where you really need to be." - Mandy Hale

Believe it or not, I'm struggling just as much as many of you are in trying to figure out who I really am. There's so much "noise" in the world that it becomes so difficult to separate the decisions I'm making for me, and the decisions that I'm making for the person people want me to be. Some major decisions in life consist of marriage or the person you want to be with, education, career, religion, political stance, etc... and no matter what you decide to do, there will ALWAYS be the contrary, the person or persons that doubt the decisions you're making, that fear for you, who try to convince you otherwise. Listen to them, but choose for you. We all have the choice to make our lives the way we want it to be. Status will tell us otherwise, but should that really matter?

You and I have so much to show the world. Status will tell you that your talents are limited, that you're a good athlete, a good writer, a good singer, a good photographer, but we're so much more than that. I hope that you and I both can take a step back from time to time, that we can find the value and talents in who we are individually and who we can be together.

SC.